Welcome one and all to The Shadow Awards!! You all look lovely in your gowns and tuxedos. I know you are excited, I mean this is the most prestigious awards ceremony in the country. All awards are voted on by ME!! Sooooooo it is very prestigious. Over the years this award ceremony has expanded to all forms of entertainment be it movies; books; and music!
Enough talking lets get to the awards. Envelopes please!!!
The WORST PERFORMANCE OF THE YEAR AWARD
Jason Momoa in Aquaman And The Lost Kingdom
In my worst film of the year he mailed it in and even doing that his performance was worse than mailing it in. He often looked lost, his eyes and his tone was saying get me out. If he had a funny line it was delivered like he was reading them, often in a monotone voice. He was just bad.
THE BEST ACTOR OF THE YEAR AWARD
Matt Damon
Damon had a very good year being in two acclaimed films in 2023 and was a huge part of Air and Oppenheimer.
THE BEST ACTRESS OF 2023 AWARD
Sandra Huller
Yes Emma Stone gave the best performance in years, However if I take the year as a whole. Sandra Huller was the star in two Oscar nominated films. Quite honestly she could have been nominated for both her films.
In Anatomy Of The Fall speaking French, we like her as Sandra Voyter. However, did she kill her husband or did he fall?
In Zone Of Interest speaking German as Hedwig Hoss. She Is just pure evil, living 100 yards from where jews are being killed and checking out jewelry and clothing that the now dead jews that her husband helped killed were left behind. She is awful.
Yes two great performances, speaking in two languages
THE COMEBACK OF THE YEAR AWARD
Josh Hartnett
Josh Hartnett does not work too often any more. He prefers to live with his family away from Hollywood,
This year he returned with two wonderful roles:
A small role in Oppenheimer, yet a very important role as Ernest Lawrence
In Operation Fortune as Danny he is kinda funny. He is constantly stealing scenes
It is great to see him back on the scene.
FAVORITE CHARACTER AWARD
Bella Baxter
How can you not like Bella Baxter? She is child like; yet becomes mature and very bright. Often funny, without knowing she is funny. We have never had a Bella in the cinema before.
THE WHY JUST WHY AWARD
Killers Of The Flower Moon
It is sad this was nominated for an Oscar.
It is a disgrace what they did to this story.
Scorsese obviously focused on his two stars and ignored the real story here. He focused more on the bad guys and not the hero, which the book did. That is the story.
Did you know many investigators were killed or disappeared at the time while looking into these killings?
Which leads to the story of Tom White, who came into this town risking his life and his family's life. He also brought his own men who mingled undercover in this town to find answers, risking their lives! Not in the movie. THAT IS THE STORY!! Tom and his men were persistent and saved these innocent people. Oh, did you know there was another major player in these killings? Ignored in this film. Why? Tell the story!!!!!
THE I STILL DON'T GET IT AWARD
Barbie
Now I am not saying I hated the movie, I gave it 3.5 of 5 stars. However ...the love for this is silly. I really think it is a film that people are told they most love it or you don't belong.
I will say it is one of Greta Gerwig's worst movies. I think the editing is piss poor with odd breaks. The change in mindset in characters with no basis is questionable. The ending was bad, almost like saying ..okay that is enough let's end it. I don't get the crazy love for it. Oh, and lets we have a dance scene, lets throw it in here. Ugh.
You may say: You are not a woman you don't get it. Well I got Gerwig's Little Women. I got God It's Me Margaret; Waitress The Musical. So...
Yes I laughed and sometimes felt the emotions, but still not an Oscar best picture.
THE AWARD FOR FUNNIEST FILM
No Hard Feelings
A raunchy funny film!!! Jennifer Lawrence was all in,,, see the beach scene...for the laughs.
Lawrence plays Maddie Barker who is desperate for a car and money, so she takes on a strange job. The job is to loosen up Percy Becker before he goes to college. Oddly she is hired by Percy's parents (an unrecognizable Matthew Broderick in a ridiculous wig). So many funny moments! Lawrence is so funny and Andrew Barth Feldman who plays Percy is a fantastic straight man to her crazy.
THE AWARD FOR BEST SCENE
So many options:
Washington and Fanning table scene in Equalizer 3
Lawrence scene at the beach
The train scene in MI Dead Reckoning
The spider scene in Anyone But You
The crying scene in Past Lives
I went with this sweet scene we call Maneater from No Hard Feelings. You can see it in Jennifer Lawrence's eyes....The feeling of...what am I doing???!!
Well it is the entertainment awards so let's go beyond movies....
THE TOP THREE ALBUMS I PLAYED OVER AND OVER AWARD
Samara Joy Linger Awhile
I know I was late to this game but Samara Joy is a find. This album has her new stuff highlighted by Guess Who I saw Today. Then she has classics like Someone To Watch Over Me. Every song on this album should be on repeat.
Old Dominion Memory Lane
Just wow. This band has grown so much. This album is near perfect highlighted by Easier Said With Rum and the catchy How Good Is That
Emily Kinney Swimteam
None as more of an Actor but this is a breakout album singing about lessons learned from a breakup and moving on. The highlight is B Or C For Effort and Untitled. Love this album
THE AWARD FOR TOP 3 BOOKS
The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo
Taylor Jenkins Reid
I love Jenkins Reid and she delivers again.
Secrets of old time Hollywood and a twist at the end,
Hollywood please dont mess this film up!!
Pack Up The Moon
Kristan Higgins
Think of the film PS I Love You but better.
A 26 year old space designer loses his wife to an illness and has to figure out how to go on. Unknowingly his wife left him things to do each month to get him to move forward. Surprisingly funny,and sad at the same time. A wonderful book.
Every Summer After
Carley Fortune
This book goes back and forth in time told over 6 years and one weekend as we try to figure out where this book is going and what really happened between Percy and Sam. People want a part 2!!!
Lets finish up the awards back at the movies...
THE AWARD FOR BEST NEW STAR
She is in every scene of Are You There God? It's Me Margaret, She knocks it out of the park. Perfection.
Well there is the end of the awards!!
We will serve Chick Fil A because we are fancy at this award ceremony.
Thanks for showing up.
Oscar predictions are coming tomorrow!!
From the shadows thanks for your time!
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